Xenosaga: Torn Apart
by GoldenSunSheba
Summary: Xenosaga Shion is reflecting on her past and starts to wonder about her future, will it tear her apart or will some one help her through it Guess who I'm paring?Done
1. Chapter one

GSS: Well hello all my loyal fans *Waving*  
  
Fans: *Stares at her*  
  
GSS: I'm so glad to see you all . . . wait a second there's only five of you?  
  
Fans: *screams and runs away*  
  
GSS: *Sniffle* I'm not loved . . . Who's going to do my disclaimer?  
  
Sheaira: The only one who can *Pops out of nowhere*  
  
GSS: I love you, you little rat *Huggles*  
  
Sheaira: Goldensunsheba does not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, except for me, and none of the plot or story line (Crap those are the same thing right?), SHE JUST OWNS NOTHING! IT ALL BELONGS TO THE MIGHTY NAMCO *Hails Namco*  
  
Namco: . . .  
  
GSS: On with my Xenosaga fic all you weirdo's and freaks! Wait I'm talking to myself . . . eep  
  
~-~-~-~  
  
Xenosaga: Torn Apart  
  
Chapter one: Feeling alone  
  
Do you ever get that feeling like you're alone, that you're trapped in this body of yours that you can never escape until you die? That's how I feel right now, it's a beautiful day outside but I don't see a reason for living. I know that I can't leave yet, I still have KOS-MOS and my friends. But I still feel alone with out some one there to comfort me and my tears, some things tearing me apart. Maybe it's because I know that if I were to fall in love with someone they'd be torn away from me just like ever one else, my mother and father, Kevin. . . I hate feeling like this; it's just like a curse of some sort so I won't bother loving anyone . . . anymore.  
  
"Hey Shion?" I heard my name being called from outside the door; I opened my eyes and sat up.  
  
"Yes," I picked up my glasses and put them on as the door open to reveal my brother, Jin.  
  
"Did I wake you?"  
  
"No, I couldn't sleep anyways," I said reaching for my jacket that I hung beside the bed.  
  
"You haven't been sleeping well the last few days Shion, what's on your mind?" Jin asked almost as soon as I stood up. I knew he was going to ask me, everyone does after all.  
  
"Nothing, nothing at all," I looked up at him and smiled. I'm such a good stalker; he'll never know what hit him.  
  
"Okay if you say so. Your breakfast is on the table along with Allen, Jr. and MOMO," Jin said walking to the door.  
  
"They waited for me?" what I'm I thinking of course, I knew Allen would be there, he seems to always be there for me, even in the worst places.  
  
"Well sure they are you're friends aren't they?" I nodded slowly and fallowed Jin out of the room. Why the hell I'm I thinking of Allen so much? Maybe because he saved my life a couple of times without even a thank you from his chief. Some person I am.  
  
"Chief," I heard his voice even before he had said anything, my eyes raise to see them at the table, MOMO was chewing bubble gum and blowing bubbles and Jr. was playing with his cereal, Allen was standing in front of me so I looked up at him.  
  
"Good morning," were the only words I could find.  
  
"Chief you look half asleep," Allen told me.  
  
"Oh no, I just didn't get enough sleep," me and Allen are alike in some ways, we never seem to show our feelings even when we want to burst them out, but we don't communicate that clearly to each other.  
  
"Want some breakfast Shion, and Jr. stop playing with your food, MOMO can you not blow bubbles of gum in my house," Jin said and I laughed.  
  
~-~-~-~-~  
  
After breakfast I went down to see KOS-MOS with Allen, I start to wonder why Allen is always there for me. Does he love me? I hope not I don't want to lose him as well.  
  
"Good morning KOS-MOS," I said to the blue haired girl who was standing there.  
  
"Good morning Shion," KOS-MOS focused her red eyes onto me and then she looked at Allen, "Good morning Allen."  
  
"Oh yeah good morning," Allen said quickly. I couldn't think of much to say at this time.  
  
"Would you like to go shopping with us KOS-MOS?" was the only thing I could think of.  
  
"I do not see it necessary to shop around, but I will accompany you," replied KOS-MOS. I laughed at her seriousness. Allen didn't seem to laugh and just kept quiet as he fallowed me and KOS-MOS out of the room.  
  
"Alright Jin we're ready to hit the town," I smiled and turned back to Allen, he smiled at me as Jr. pushed him out of his way.  
  
"Let go already I hate waitin around!" Jr. snapped as one of MOMO's bubble gum bubbles popped all over her face and we all bursted out laughing, except for Allen and KOS-MOS. He was too quiet today and I started to wonder.  
  
~-~-~-~  
  
GSS: Yes this is a short chapter I'll right a longer one tomorrow okay?  
  
Sheaira: enjoy it for she mite lose her inspiration so if you like or hate review  
  
GSS: I hope they don't hate  
  
Fans: *with bat*  
  
GSS: Oh Crap  
  
*Waves to loyal fans as they hit her with bats and cheer*  
  
GSS 


	2. Chapter two

GSS: Well at least someone's here to help me with my grammar unlike the certain COMPUTER! *Smacks the computer*  
  
Sheaira: She can't do anything but spell things wrong  
  
GSS: Pookakitty helps me fix that ^_^o you rule! Oh and so does everyone else who loves Allen  
  
Sheaira: On with the disclaimer  
  
GSS: Must we *moans and complains*  
  
Sheaira: GSS does not own any character or even the game for that matter, mentioned in this story  
  
GSS: And they say I have bad grammar  
  
Sheaira: -_-;  
  
~-~-~-~  
  
Chapter two: Just a Dream  
  
Here I'm sitting at the dinner on the corner of the street, it had just started to rain and I watched it fall against the window as the man hands me an ice tea. Jr. and MOMO went to the arcade, Jin went to look at books with KOS-MOS and Allen . . . I don't know where he went. I drink a bit of my ice tea and stare at my sandwich. I close my eyes and start to drift off not meaning to. The man behind the counter poked me awake and my eyes snapped open.  
  
"I'm sorry miss but you can't sleep here," said the man. I nodded and got up to leave, but I forgot to pay him. I stopped and laughed and paid him his money and headed to Jin's car. The rain poured down upon me, my red hair was soaked and I could barley see out of my glasses as I walked across the street. I couldn't remember much, I could only see Jin's car and then I heard a screech of tires and I fell on to the pavement hard. I could taste the blood as I fell unconscious; the last thing I heard was thunder. . . I hate thunder. . .  
  
~-~-~-~  
  
'My brother must be worried,' I thought as I slipped into darkness wondering where I was. I felt someone grab my hand and I opened my eyes to see Nephilim. Her blue eyes were watching me.  
  
"Nephilim, am I dead?" I asked her, she looked up at me; her orange hair was glowing in the bright whiteness we stood in.  
  
"No," she titled her head.  
  
"What happened to me then," I looked at my hands they where covered in my own blood but I couldn't see a scratch on me, "Am I going to die?"  
  
"Shion," she said in her adult toned voice. One look at her and you'd think she was a normal young girl but she wasn't she was far beyond that, "You were hit by a car but you will not die, not yet."  
  
I sighed, I wish I would die there's not much left to live for. But I wonder if anyone wound miss me. Nephilim was looking at me as if she knew what I was thinking about.  
  
"I know one person would miss you more than the rest," Nephilim told me, she slowly walked away from me.  
  
"Who?" I asked almost immediately waiting for the answer. Nephilim looked at me and said nothing more. She disappeared in the mists that surrounded me. I looked around; there wasn't much to see I'll tell you that, it just looked like heaven. I toke of my glasses and looked at them, they were covered in blood, but not my own this time. I quickly put them back on and looked at my dress, it was also covered in blood, but I didn't know who's.  
  
"Where am I?" I asked myself again and again, "Whose blood is this?"  
  
Everything turned dark when I asked this question and I heard the thunder again and saw the lightning flash by. I saw myself sitting alone, in the dark with a knife in my hand. Was I trying to commit suicide? Had someone stopped me? Is that why I'm crying? I came closer and realized where I was, I was in the kitchen of my brothers house. A flash of lightning struck near and I saw blood on the knife but something told me it wasn't mine. Something told me to go back to not continue with this dream; just let it stop now. . . But I couldn't I wanted to know who stopped me. The lightning flashed again and I saw who it was. I wanted to cry. Why was it him . . . I didn't know he cared about me so much.  
  
"Allen Ridgeley," I heard myself whimpering. I turn away only to see my brother staring at me with wide eyes. I looked back as I was about to kill myself. My brother ran right through me and I turned to see him grab the knife from me and I stared to cry in his arms.  
  
"I killed him Jin . . . He tried to stop me, but it killed him instead," I heard myself cry. Allen . . . Why would he do that?  
  
"No Shion, it's not your fault," Jin tried to cheer me up but it didn't seem to help. I lowered my head, why would I want to die?  
  
"Because you're changing," said a voice from behind me, I turned to see Nephilim standing behind me with her hand behind her back, "I didn't think this would happen."  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked quickly.  
  
"The Gnosis is taking your body over, there's not much time left," Nephilim lend over a bit and the place we were in was gone, "Your future is fading, your past is taking it over, you'll be torn apart if you aren't careful."  
  
"The Gnosis. . . But I thought you said that it wouldn't turn me into to one. . ." I paused worry over came my thought, what if I did turn into a Gnosis what if KOS-MOS couldn't or wouldn't try to destroy me.  
  
"Things are changing, you must hurry and complete what you were meant to do," Nephilim said.  
  
"What are these things?"  
  
"You'll find out," Nephilim started to go, "Hold the ones you love close, for your time will soon run out and you won't be with them."  
  
"Nephilim, wait!" I called after her but she was gone. I was left standing in a field alone. The grass blew gently around my feet. I turned around to see a little girl with bright glowing sapphire eyes. She looked up at me, her hair was brown and she looked like she was 5 years old.  
  
"Who are you?" I knelt down beside the girl.  
  
"Shion," I knew that voice . . . But it couldn't be this girl had a different voice then KOS-MOS, "You don't remember me?"  
  
"What do you mean?" I felt someone grab my shoulder and the younger girl looked up. I looked up as well to see the blue haired girl looking down at me, "KOS-MOS?"  
  
"Yes," said the little girl, I turned back to her.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"That is me Shion," said the girl. I stared at her for a moment and the looked back at the blue haired girl who was still looking at me blankly.  
  
"This dream is getting stranger by the second," I said to the blue haired girl. The smaller one giggled.  
  
"She won't talk to you Shion, I'm in this form right now," said the little girl. I looked at her puzzled.  
  
"You're KOS-MOS?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But then why are you so young?"  
  
"I guess I just pick this form, I couldn't come at you like that," KOS-MOS pointed to herself and I wondered how an android could have a spirit, "Because you placed part of your own spirit into me when you created me."  
  
"You know what I'm thinking!?" I looked at KOS-MOS surprised that she answered my thoughts.  
  
"Of course you and I are one."  
  
"But then you can't kill me when it happens can you?" I asked her, she looked down at the grass that was still blowing gently.  
  
"Shion . . . I don't want to hurt you," she replied.  
  
"But you have to if I turn into a Gnosis," I said looking into her sapphire eyes.  
  
"Please, don't make me Shion," KOS-MOS looked like she was about to break down and cry. I put my arms around her and told her it was alright. She hugged me back, "I won't let you turn into a Gnosis."  
  
~-~-~-~-~  
  
My eyes fluttered open to see Allen standing over me, I smiled upon seeing him, Jin grabbed me a hugged me.  
  
"Shion you're alright, you had us worried."  
  
"You all came?" I tried to say but I couldn't speak my throat was dry; I suddenly felt the sharp pain of my twisted arm.  
  
"Oh Chief I'm so glad your still alive and in one piece," Allen said, his eyes were stained with tears. I could tell he was worried sick. I looked for KOS-MOS who was looking out the window and I smiled at her.  
  
"You should get some rest Shion," said KOS-MOS.  
  
'Don't worry I will,' I thought and I closed my eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.  
  
~-~-~-~  
  
Sheaira: strangeness  
  
GSS: It's longer so don't kill me *Hides from loyal fans*  
  
Fans: It's time for round two GSS  
  
GSS: eep. . . 


	3. Chapter three

GSS: Well thank you all for coming and Review my story I love reviews I only wish I got more, oh and a special thanks to Miles Tails Prower (My bust bud) thank you for saying that your computer was melting I enjoy watching computers melt anyways enjoy chap 3 everyone! *Winks*  
  
Sheaira: Disclaimer time, this story is not funded by anything so uh lets just say all characters belong to Namco, I like fun  
  
GSS: On with story my fans *Waves to fan witch are blowing her hair in face* I hate this. . .  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~  
  
Chapter three: Nothing But Pain  
  
I thought hard and long about that dream I had, was it really part of my future. . . Or was it just a dream. I paused, what would happen if Allen did die for me. I was lying in the hospital bed with my eyes opened. I wasn't wearing my glasses and I couldn't make out the makes on the ceiling; it was just so quiet right now and I couldn't sleep anymore. I turned over to the window and looked outside, it was barley morning but I could see the sun rising from the mountains in the distance.  
  
"Shion . . ." said a voice. I turned to the voice but didn't see anyone, it sounded like. . . Kevin. . . I must have been imaging it. Kevin. . . He loved me, he died because he loved me, Allen will die because he loves me, everyone does. . .  
  
"Hey Shion," said a voice witch woke me from my slumber, I opened my eyes to see Jin standing over me I closed my eyes as he said more, "How's sleeping beauty today?"  
  
"Jin you're a freak of nature wake me up when it's morning," I mumbled at him turning over and opening my eyes again to see that it was morning. I groaned as he leaned over me and told me it was morning, "I knew that!"  
  
"No you didn't you," he tickled me and I giggled like I was four years old.  
  
"Stop it," I said in between giggles, "Don't you know that you shouldn't tickle people with broken ribs."  
  
"Well then I can tickle you all I want," he said, "My lil' sis has nothin wrong with her."  
  
"And who's your lil' sis?" I growled as he was still tickling me.  
  
"You of course," he stopped and placed his hand on my back and laughed, "You're funny Shion and so is your co-worker, what's his name again. . . Alex?"  
"No stupid it's Allen," I rolled over and looked at him, "What did the doctor say?"  
  
"You can go home when you're awake, and Alex is a work alcoholic," Jin said.  
  
"You mean Allen?"  
  
"Yeah I guess you really like him eh?" Jin poked me and a growled at him, "Maybe you should tell Alex how you feel."  
  
"IT'S ALLEN YOU. . ." I'll leave the rest to you. Anyways I can't believe that my brother can annoy me so much.  
  
"Come now, I think you're awake crabby," Jin said, "Time to get changed," he handed me my glasses; I yawned at him and cursed him more. He laughed at me he always laughs at me when I curse him. He's a strange brother.  
  
"Alright get out," I said to him.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked being stupid again as usual.  
  
"GET OUT SO I CAN CHANGE!" I threw his books at him as he left and he was laughing his head off. I bet if he was Albedo his head would be off. I cursed more as I slipped off my night gown and opened the closet.  
  
"Chief, Jin told me you were. . ." I heard some ones voice as I turned to see Allen just staring at me, "Oh good god. . ." I screamed to the top of my lunges and it made Allen run out of the building at tops speeds, I think he even ran further than that. My brother was now on the floor laughing.  
  
"VERY FUNNY JIN!" I cursed at him some more, some brother, letting Allen run in like that.  
  
"Sorry sis it was just so funny," Jin was still laughing. I wanted to kill Jin at that moment, poor Allen he must think I'll fire him for coming in like that.  
  
"Anyways," I came out fully clothed and angry at my brother, "I should tell Allen that it's alright."  
  
"Why I don't think he's scared for life. . . I mean I bet Kevin never saw your breast," Jin laughed at me and I slapped him.  
  
"Don't talk about Kevin like that," I said.  
  
"Ow, geeze sorry sis," Jin said rubbing his cheek; I guess I didn't mean to slap him but I just did.  
"I-I'm sorry Jin. . ." I say slowly with tears in my eyes, "It just hurts me to think about him."  
  
"Don't cry Shion," Jin put his arm around me and held me close; "I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
"It's okay," I said whipping the tears from my face.  
  
"Come on lets go home," he tells me.  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-  
  
I looked around at Jr., MOMO, chaos, KOS-MOS and Ziggy. There was a welcome back party for me. KOS-MOS looked like she was about to cry and hug me but I think she decided against it. MOMO ran up to hug me and Jr. did too.  
  
"I'm so glad you're okay," MOMO smiled.  
  
"Me too," Jr. hugged her again.  
  
"Thanks for the hugs you guys," I smiled at both of them as Jr. blushed.  
  
"Yeah but keep it a secret okay," Jr. mumbled. I heard MOMO giggle as he said that.  
  
"Welcome back Shion," KOS-MOS greeted me emotionless.  
  
"Thank you KOS-MOS, hey where's Allen?"  
  
"I haven't seen him in a while," chaos said, "I think he's still in his room."  
  
"Oh Jin look what you did, now he doesn't want to see me," I said, "I'll go see him then."  
  
"No Shion . . .!" Jr. said, I looked at him waiting for why not, "he's crying . . . no man wants to be seen by the person they love when they're crying," he told me and I stopped.  
  
"A-Allen . . ." I turned to Jr. "But. . . I wanted to say its okay . . . he saw me without my clothes and I think he thinks I'm going to fire him."  
  
"Shion, its best you leave him alone today," MOMO told me. I nodded, maybe she's right. . .  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~  
  
What am I suppose to do with Allen, I didn't mean to hurt him yet I seem to do that a lot. Like that one time when he asked me out that one time and I rejected him for it. My heart hurts knowing that soon I'll be a Gnosis like Commander Cherenkov.  
  
"Chief . . ." said a voice from the door, it was Allen; I turned to him and smiled gently.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked he nodded at me, "I know you didn't mean to come in on me like that it's my no good brother who's always around."  
  
"Still. . . I guess you're going to fire me," Allen looked down sadly.  
  
"No, if I could I would fire my brother," I laughed a little and then stood up to walk over to Allen but something prevented me from going any farther I looked down at my hand as he gasped.  
  
"Chief!" I heard him yell as I screamed in pain, it was the worst pain ever it felt as if someone had grabbed my heart and was trying to rip it out. I fell to my knees and my body went numb, I guess I die now. . .  
  
"No Shion, this is only part of the change. . ." said the voice of Nephilim. I sighed and there was no more to do but fall into the cold sleep.  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~  
  
GSS: done like butter  
  
Sheaira: Butter is done  
  
GSS: Please read and Review if you review you become sponsors and can sit on your lazy butts while I work my ass off for all of ya! So join my fan club just say you'd like to be a fan and I'll be happy ^_^o signing out. 


	4. Chapter four

GSS: GAWD my friends like to be upset, no I'm serious all of you must be on depresses or sumthin  
  
Sheaira: she's chasing her fans away  
  
GSS: NO DON'T LEAVE!  
  
Sheaira: DISCLAIMR! We don't own anything not a single thing; if we did we'd be rich.  
  
GSS: *sob*  
  
Sheaira: stupid depression is coming over here  
  
~-~-~-~-~  
  
Chapter four: Is there Something Else  
  
I open my eyes but I can't see much, it's dark and every thing is silent. I rest my head down on the hard ground wondering why I was here. My mind never got an answer though, no matter how hard I thought. All I could hear was the mumbles of voices in the back of my head. It mad me laugh how foolish those mumbles could be I could only understand the few words that I was thinking of at that time. The darkness around me seemed like it was ever lasting and I finally willed my body to move. I sat up and looked around, all I saw was the moon raising, two of the moons, I knew where I was . . . it was old Miltia.  
  
"HELLO!" I called out into the abyss of nothingness. There was no one there but me.  
  
'I must be going insane or something' I thought, 'these dreams freak me out' I paused and saw the Zohar it was glowing green. The gold colors were hard to see since it was pitch dark. I turned to see the Gnosis, I screamed but they did not seem to notice they were heading to the Zohar. I looked back at the Zohar and it was glowing more brightly, the Gnosis seemed to be heading there. I felt as if I were drawn to it as well.  
  
"This is the original Zohar, this is what draws the Gnosis in and will help release Febronia's sisters, KOS-MOS. . . She is the key of releasing the gate," said the voice behind me. I turned to see Nephilim; her blue eyes were focused in on the Zohar, "There isn't much time left . . . you must hurry . . . no you can't . . . it is far too late."  
  
"Too late? What do you mean!?" I called out to her, she looked down slowly and her eyes seemed so cold, "Nephilim isn't there some way to delay it!"  
  
"No . . . I am sorry Shion," she replied, "You must tell your brother, he will help you."  
  
"B-but . . ." it was too late she was gone, I turned back and the Zohar and Gnosis were no longer there. I sighed and lingered around; until I saw her . . . she was standing there completely emotionless.  
  
"KOS-MOS!" I called, but she did not reply. I went over to her yet it seemed like she couldn't see me. I sighed and waved my hand in front of her. Still there was no reply from her at all.  
  
"KOS-MOS . . ." said a different voice, I turned to see my brother. He was clenching his sword and he was covered in blood. KOS-MOS turned to him.  
  
"They are gone, all of them have returned," I heard her voice say to him, he sighed in relief.  
  
"I hope Shion's happy then . . ." he said lowering his head.  
  
"Happy," I reached out just to find that they faded away from me.  
  
~-~-~-~  
  
My eyes opened and I saw Allen standing over me. I had just seen a glimpse of the future I had to go tell him . . . my brother. . .  
  
~-~-~  
  
GSS: SO SHORT!  
  
Sheaira: yes it is  
  
GSS: well it's almost done  
  
Sheaira: YAY!  
  
GSS: enjoy 


	5. Chapter five

GSS: Okay here's the last chapter and this will be my first finished fic. Wow  
  
Sheaira: everything mentioned in this story belongs to Namco, Moonlight software and a little of Sega at the end, you'll see  
  
GSS: yes well on with fic ^_^  
  
~-~-~-~-~  
  
Chapter five: It All Ends Here  
  
"Where's KOS-MOS?!" I snapped at Allen not even meaning too, that vision, I had to tell her. I sat up quickly.  
  
"Chief, listen you shouldn't get up so quickly," I heard his voice tell me, but it angered me to here him say that. Jin and Allen treat me like I'm a little kid WELL I'M NOT!  
  
"Look Allen, I'm not a little kid any more, SO STOP TREATING ME LIKE ONE!" I remember him trying to hold me back but I slapped him as hard as I could. I quickly ran out of the room before seeing Allen's face. I felt angry tears race down my face as I entered Jin's lab were KOS-MOS and chaos were sitting.  
  
"Shion . . ." KOS-MOS looked up at me and it was the first time I had ever seen her blue eyes.  
  
"WHY!" I felt the tears stream down my cheek, "Why won't you."  
  
"Maybe it's because I love you with all my heart," she whispered slowly.  
  
"That's no excuse YOU KNOW I'M CHANGING!" I couldn't stay there any longer and so I ran out in tears. For some reason I knew KOS-MOS couldn't hurt me.  
  
"SHION!" I heard KOS-MOS call but I didn't stop and hoped she wouldn't come after me. I stormed into the kitchen; I turned on the lights in a heat of anger and looked up to see Allen.  
  
"Shion . . ." I heard his voice speak softly, my anger was gone and now there were just tears.  
  
"A-Allen what are you doing here . . ." I asked slowly.  
  
"What's it to you!?" I heard his calm voice snap, that made me mad; he had no right to speak to his superior like that.  
  
"You know you don't have to keep fallowing me around like this!" I cried.  
  
"I fallow you just to keep you safe," he told me, "Maybe I shouldn't have." He pushed me aside and headed to the door.  
  
"If you leave me I'll be alone . . ." I said softly as I turned to him I was next to the sink and there laid a cool blade.  
  
"You won't be alone . . ." Allen had lowered his head and didn't turn to me.  
  
"Yes, I've always been alone, ever since that day . . ." I said brushing my fingertips against the blade until I got to the handle, I griped it tight and slowly took it off the counter. I couldn't stand this pain any more I didn't want to hurt anyone. There was a deep pain in my heart and if I was to let Allen heal it he'd probably die. I heard the rain pounding on the roof of the house as I placed the tip of the blade to my chest. I slowly closed my eyes. I wanted to go, to leave and see my parents again. But just as I was about to die, some one stopped me by grabbing my wrist. I opened my eyes to see Allen holding my wrist preventing me from hurting myself.  
  
"Please let me die," I cried trying to pull away from his grip but I realized my strength had left me. He had twisted my wrist but I couldn't feel the pain of it cause of the pain that cut deep into my heart and soul, why was Allen trying to stop me.  
  
"I won't let you die, you don't deserve to die," I heard his last words slip through his lips like he toke forever to say them, and then his grip fail and the blade hit him instead. I felt myself fall into his arms as I started to cry. I had seen this coming, but I didn't prevent it. I took the knife out and gently lowered him to the ground; my head fell into his chest as I cried. The tears wouldn't stop, I never thought I'd hurt any one.  
  
"Allen Ridgeley," I heard the sobs I heard in that dream, the dream it came just like Nephilim had shown to me, but I did care I was so determined not to hurt anyone else. I grabbed the bloody knife off the ground and was about to thrust it into my stomach end all the pain now. But just as I was about to I felt my brothers hands stop me, I was much to scared and weak to fight him off. Thunder boomed over head and I put my head in my brother's chest; he had thrown the knife on the ground.  
  
"I killed him Jin . . . I killed someone out of this . . . He tried to stop me, b-but I killed him," I said stuttering along shivering violently in my brother's arms.  
  
"No, Shion don't blame yourself," Jin said trying to comfort me, but it was working.  
  
I-I'm going to hurt e-everyone, j-just like I did to A-Allen," I sobbed, I was hoping he'd let me go and die.  
  
"Why do you say that Shion?" my brother asked and looked into my eyes.  
  
"Because . . ." I said and looked at my hands, and they were, to my surprise transparent, "Of this." I should my brother my hands before I felt like screaming in pain. I held my hands together as tears streamed down my cheek.  
  
"B-but Shion you weren't touched by a Gnosis were you?" he asked as I nodded quickly, "No, no it can't, NO I WON'T BEVLIEVE YOU!" He hugged me close.  
  
"Jin I-I don't want to hurt you," I said shaking still and looking at Allen, "I hurt one person that I never thought I could."  
  
"No Shion . . ." He was cut off by me as I pushed him away my vision started to blur. It was them I saw them, the thing that attacked the commander.  
  
"No keep away! I won't let you do the same thing you did to the commander," I put my head in my knees to prevent from seeing them but it didn't stop them, "NEPHILIM!"  
  
"Shion!" I turned to see who was calling my voice; it was chaos and KOS-MOS at the door of the kitchen. I stood up and my feet started to lift from the ground. My glasses slipped off I fell to the ground and shattered. I hear voices but I couldn't make what they were saying. I looked up but I couldn't make out what was heading at me.  
  
"NO!" I cried and then I felt no more.  
  
~-~-~-~-~  
  
I opened my eyes and looked around for a second. I heard the waves and it felt good even though I was completely alone. Some one touched my shoulder and I looked up.  
  
"Shion . . ." I saw the little girl KOS-MOS had chosen as a spirit.  
  
"KOS-MOS . . . I feel alone, but it's nice," I said with my eyes half closed, "Commander Cherenkov was right, it is peaceful here."  
  
"I suppose . . ." KOS-MOS sat next to me, "Shion . . . I'm sorry."  
  
"No I understand KOS-MOS, you're an anti-Gnosis combat android, and you were created to destroy Gnosis."  
  
"I know, but for the first time . . . I didn't want to," she looked up at the pale sky as I turned to her.  
  
"I wish I didn't turn into one," I said half heartedly, "KOS-MOS have you ever experienced love?"  
  
"Love?" she looked at me her sapphire eyes glowing, "You mean the love between you and Allen, or more like mother and daughter love?"  
  
"Either I suppose."  
  
"Well yes," KOS-MOS looked down.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"It doesn't matter, really . . ."  
  
"Why, is the one you love human and you're an android and you can't express that love to him?"  
  
"No, he's just chaos . . ." KOS-MOS stood up and looked at me, "Shion . . . I love you as well." She disappeared in front of my eyes and I was alone. I felt happy that KOS-MOS thought of me as her mother. I sighed and watched the waves as my world went into the beach of nothingness.  
  
~-~-~End~-~-~-  
  
GSS: NO KOS-MOS IS NOT BI-SEXUAL SHE LOVES SHION AS IF SHE WERE HER MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sheaira: so don't think we're sickos okay?  
  
Knuckles: Too late  
  
Tails & Luminous: JERK!  
  
Knuckles: Well it IS too late  
  
Tails: True . . .  
  
Sheaira: *sigh* Boys these days . . .  
  
GSS: I'll fix chapter four for people who don't understand but this is my first finished fic *Parties* 


End file.
